shitty golfer

i'm a shitty golfer

you can ask my wife

i've been out there hackin' every day of my life

i got the shorts and all the plaid sweaters

and new taylormade driver didn't make me any better

man

i hit 'em fat and i hit 'em thin

i roll 'em in the bunker's man

i hit 'em again

slice 'em in the bushes

crank 'em in a creek

i popped that sucker up and hooked it out in the street

yeah

i'm 245 right down the middle

and i'll miss the green

to the left just a little

chili dip a wedge

and put it all together

hit that son of a bitch right up there in the leather

if you call that good

and let me press on the side

you can put me down for a five

hey

i'm a shitty golfer

most of us are

but we carry our clubs in the back of our cars

what else you gonna do when you're out of town

and you need to waste a whole day and shoot another round

man

i played augusta

and i played pebble beach

and one time at sawgrass i shot 83

if i live long enough to be 88

i think i'll celebrate it by shooting my age

yeah

i'm 245 right down the middle

and i'll miss the green

to the left just a little

chili dip a wedge

and put it all together

hit that son of a bitch right up there in the leather

if you call that good

and let me press on the side

you can put me down for a five

oh yeah

you can put me down for a five