slim chance and the can't hardly playboys

Singer:shaver, billy joe

slim chance and the can't hardly playboys are pickin' at your local saloon

they got a new song out on polish records

it'll be a polish hit real soon

they picked every honky-tonk and bar from here to timbuktu

slim chance and the can't hardly playboys are bustin' their butts for you

out where the cars are up on blocks and the houses are on wheels

slim and a big time bookin' agent

they cooked up a hell of a deal

they'd pick every wal-mart parkin' lot across the usa

if the good lord's willin' and the creek don't rise and they figure out how to get paid

no chance was the only chance the playboys ever had

no matter how they picked 'em

everything they played was bad

then slim come along and he played the songs that stick right in your head

slim chance and the can't hardly playboys are really a-knockin' 'em dead

esmeralda muckinfuch was slim's good timin' gal

she wasn't much to look at but slim loved her anyhow

you couldn't beat her when she's sober

but you had to when she's drunk

we all called her the country kitty

'cause she smelled just like a what in the world was that?

slim chance could be anyone who hangs out in a bar

or any local yokel who sings and plays guitar

all the boys and girls around the world now they know who they are

slim chance is about the best chance that they got to be a star

yesterday i couldn't even spell star

and now i are one

i say i ain't but a star i are

do they not know who we think we are?

i'm tellin' ya we're gonna get 500 a gig or we ain't playin'!

i think we need some of them w***es dejours

and some of them carrots and other things people get in back of the stage

we need some of them little sausages on toothpicks

maybe a dressing room