sorry parody

lately i've been really stressed out i have done many dumb things

like leaving a show cos someone in the front row spilled a drink

and walking round naked while photographers snapped pics of my peen

then claiming i was a victim of shrinkage

my manager told me to make a song to apologize

he told me to act like my life is hard so people empathize

then he said to look at the camera and made sad puppy dog eyes

cos it would make my teen girl fans feel bad for me

when i publicly say i'm sorry

everyone will instantly forgive me

and once they do that

i can get away with anything

so once i've said i'm sorry

i did bad

i can go back to being a douchebag

i'm sorry. yeah. sorry. yeah. sorry. i can act like a total piece of shit

as long as i say i'm sorry for it

i could seduce a hot mom and talk her into intercourse

tell her to leave her husband for me and cause her to get divorced

then when i bail it's ok as long as i express remorse

i've forgiven for ruining her family

eh. i could punch a bum in the tummy

and

i could eat your food if it's yummy

wow these fries are good

i could even kick someone's baby

as long as i pretend i feel regret

i could beat an old man with a baguette

i'm sorry. yeah. sorry. yeah. sorry. i just saw star wars the force awakens

now i'll tweet out spoilers of how it ends

oh. wait! hold on. i'm sorry

man. i'm sorry

don't do it. no!

i'm sorry. yeah. sorry. yeah. sorry. hey i said sorry kylo what the fuck?

now put my head back on you stupid schmuck!