supermodel's legs

this morning it occurred to me

i might not look quite like the natural blonde

and i can't help but feel conned

the picture on the packet showed a model with no baggage

promising wild sex and marriage

with a big colour chart wand

this morning it occurred to me

i never will quite have a supermodel's legs

unless i cut each one in half

become half an octopus -

the two become synonymous

with cocaine glamour

riches

beauty

and crack

i took a trip to the national gallery

for something more refreshing in what rueben saw

my supermodel's legs

think they were plucked from a rueben-esque world

my supermodel's legs

look pretty crap on a 5-foot-4 girl

women

men and in-betweens -- why don't you just stop dieting?

go bake

eat cake

go cheer

drink beer!

worrying is boring!

if people said eat loads of cake

you wouldn't want much anyway

and then you would've and stuffed your face

and looked like king henry viii

present; we're told off every day

for living our lives the wrong damn way

suck my left one!" is what i say