i like glitter and sparkly dresses
but i'm not gonna talk about that
in my monologue
i like baking and things that smell like winter
but i'm not gonna talk about that
in my monologue
la la la
la la la
i like writing songs about douche bags who cheat on me
but i'm not gonna say that
in my monologue
i like writing their names into songs so they're ashamed to go in public
but i'm not gonna say that
in my monologue
la la
la la la la la
this is my musical monologue
you might think i'd bring up joe
the guy who broke up with me on the phone
but i'm not gonna mention him
in my monologue
hey joe! i'm doing real well
tonight i'm hosting snl
but i'm not gonna brag about that
in my monologue
la la la
ha ha ha
ha ha ha
ha ha ha
la la la
and if you're wondering if i might
be dating the werewolf from twilight
i'm not gonna comment on that
in my monologue
la la
la la la la la
this is my musical monologue
you might be expecting me to say
something bad about kanye
and how he ran up on the stage
and ruined my vma monologue. but there's nothing more to say
cause everything's okay
i've got security lining this stage
this is my snl monologue
la la
la la la la la
this is my snl monologue
la la
la la la la la
that was my snl monologue