the cigar song

well i'm a sucker for fine cuban cigars

the problem is i can't afford 'em

but last year i went and got myself a whole box

and just to be safe i insured 'em

i took out a policy against fire and theft

and then i hurried home

with a fifty-cent lighter i sat on my back steps

and i smoked 'em one by one

two weeks later i went to see that insurance man

and i handed in my claim

with a straight face i told him that through a series of small fires

they'd all gone up in flames

they reviewed my case and they had no choice

but to pay me for what i'd done

and i took that check and bought a whole new box

and i smoked 'em one by one

two weeks later this detective shows up

tells me that company's pressin' charges

one speedy trial later they locked me up

on twenty-four separate counts of arson

and now i sit and i stare at a blank brick wall

lookin' back on what i've done

to pass the time i've got some ten-cent cigars

and i smoke 'em one by one

yeah

i smoke 'em one by one