the great debate
Singer:randy newman
welcome to this great arena! durham
the heart of the research triangle! we've come to this particular place tonight
'cause we gotta look at things from every angle. we need some answers to some complicated questions if we're going to get it right. to that end
we have here gathered some of the most expensive scientists in the world--eminent scientists
that is. we got biologists
got a quantum mechanic and astrophysicians. got a cosmologist and a cosmetician
we got astro boy! we got he-doctors
tree doctors! we a got a lumberjack and a life coach!
we have the true believers. we got the baptists
presbyterians. the episcopalians are here
pass the hat! we got the shakers
the big boss line from madison town! the six blind boys
get out of the way! we got a bible belter from the mississippi delta. have them all arranged. scientists
are you ready? first question: dark matter. oh
dark matter. give me someone knows somethin' about space. nice space music
what is it? where is it? can we get some? stand up
would you? you are standing
go ahead. dark matter is out in space. it's seventy-five percent of everything. just a moment
use our music. people like it
and your music's making people sick! all right. it's a free country
but we think it's everywhere. i'd like to take a look at it. can we get some down here?
let me get this straight: you don't know what it is
you don't know where it is
and we can't get any? put that to the one side. let's put the lord
eternity and whatever on the other side! show of hands?
i'll take jesus every time!
i'll take jesus every time!
i'll take jesus every time!
one-nothing! next one's gonna be a hard one. it's about the theory of evolution
give me someone knows somethin' about evolution
and animals. who you got?
aren't you? doesn't matter
but if this science thing doesn't work out for you-- oh
don't boo me! i'm just kiddin' you
you know that. here's my question: explain me the giraffe. go ahead. elaborate?
must eat leaves high up on the yabba yabba tree. that's true
of course it is. everyone knows that!
with a halfway-giraffe neck
could never have reached the highest branches of the yabba yabba. therefore
he could not have survived. it's only common sense. unfortunately for you
mr. charles darwin didn't have any common sense! evolution is a theory
disproved it. show of hands?
i'll take jesus every time!
i'll take jesus every time!
i'll take jesus every time!
two-nothing! next question: global warming. is it
so what-- one of the true believers seeks to be recognized. hand him a mic
do you know what you are? you're an idiot. you're a strawman
the author of this little vignette
self-described atheist and communist
as objects of ridicule! he doesn't believe anything he has you say
nor does he want us to believe anything you say. makes it easy for him to knock you down
believe in jesus. i believe in evolution
also. i believe in global warming
and in life everlasting. no one can knock me down. oh
mister! we can knock your communist friend down
too! communist. you call me an idiot! we've been knocking people like mr. newman down for years and years! like this: page 35
page 35. i know someone is watching me
someone sees everything i see
there's still somebody on whom i can depend
someone who'll be there 'till the very end
ladies and gentlemen. fifteen
maybe twenty-five minutes
depending on how the merchandise is moving. we'll be right back!