the squip song

freshman year

i didn't have a girlfriend or a clue

i was a loser just like you

good times would only

soar by

i was gross

as every female would attest

my sexting was a futile quest

my little penis was depressed

he was so lonely

poor guy

i was

hopeless

hopeless

i was

helpless

helpless

every time i'd walk the hallway

i would trip

i was

stagnant and idle

i was

so suicidal

and then

then

then

then

then

then

then

then

then

then

then

then

then i got a squip

you got quick?

not quick

squip

i've just never heard of it before

yeah

that's the point!

this is some top-secret

can't-even-look-it-up-on-the-internet shit

it's from japan

it's a gray

oblong pill

quantum nanotechnology cpu

the quantum computer in the pill will travel through your blood until

it implants in your brain and it tells you what to do

so. it's like. drugs?

it's better than drugs

jeremy

it's from japan

it's a gray

oblong pill

quantum nanotechnology cpu

the quantum computer in the pill will travel through your blood until

it implants in your brain and it tells you what to do

it tells you what to do

it's preprogrammed

it's amazing

speaks to you directly

you behave as

it's appraising

helps you act correctly

helps you to be cool

it helps you rule

picture this: nobody cares if you are late

'cause even teachers think you're great

your weekend's just a full on slate of blowout benders

of teenage rockstar splendor

right now you're

helpless

helpless

you are

almost hopeless

on the school's social map you're just a blip

but if you

take my advice and if you pay the listed price

well

then you go from sad to interesting

to hip - your whole life will flip!

when you buy a squip!

hey

yeah

a squip!

oh

a squip

hey

yeah!

no longer a drip when you got in your grip

a squip

a squip

a squip.