the universal cynic

catch a shooting star and put it in your pocket

then your pants will start on fire

one bird in the hand

or two birds in the bush

neither do you any good

when you're stuck in the quagmire

show everyone you're not sure that they're telling the truth

then you can be known as the universal cynic too

benefit your fellow man with good deeds for the day

and you'll serve your life away

pennies saved today are pennies still tomorrow

strewn upon the desk

piled up in the paper weight

show everyone you're not sure that they're telling the truth

then you'll be known as the universal cynic too

wipe your opaque eyes and restore your crystal vision

turn another cheek and exalt in your decision

a bit of exercise for the universal cynic in you

early to bed

and early to rise

precludes you from seeing the most brilliant starry nights

sticks and stones can break bones

words can't really hurt

unless you carry guns

and are hungry for a fight

challenging the standards

or questioning the established rules

trying to understand how they can benefit you

showing everyone you're not sure that they're telling the truth

just a bit of exercise for the universal cynic in you;

the universal cynic in you