the woodbridge dog disaster

there was an old woman in woodbridge there was

so proper and tidy and all of them things

she would wander all day with her duster in hand

she was one of those women who clean where they stand

and while she is at it she sings

boys

and while she is at it she sings

now there's no doubt about it her house was a show

with everything proper and stowed in its place

and that's why her dustbins had a shed of their own

like a mirror each one of those bins it had grown

you could read every line in your face

boys

you could read every line in your face

now there's nothing the matter with tidiness

no

no matter with keeping your house up to scratch

but these bins were located one side of a yard

where a doberman pinscher was prowling on guard

trained to kill if you lifted the latch

boys

trained to kill if you lifted the latch

now it's all very well to protect what is yours

and it's better not leaving temptation around

but a job of the dust is rewarding enough

and there's nothing like taking the smooth with the rough

to be savaged by some bloody hound

boys

to be savaged by some bloody hound

now this doberman pinscher would play in the yard

and a couple of old tennis balls was his game

in his make-believe game it's himself that he saw

as the world's only dog with a bionic jaw

and that's when the garbage man came

boys

and that's when the garbage man came

now fate took a hand on this coldest of days

for his wife she had made him to wear a warm coat

and to knot up his muffler to keep out the chill

and for once in his life he had bent to her will

and the dog couldn't get at his throat

boys

and the dog couldn't get at his throat

now when the woman above was drawn to the noise

it's down from a high chamber window she called

to the dustman engaged in a struggle for life

in a middle class tone you could cut with a knife

she loudly exclaimed

kick his balls