these are the thoughts

these are the thoughts that go through my head

in my backyard on a sunday afternoon

when i have the house to myself and i am not

spending all that energy on fighting

with my

boy

friend

is he the one that i will marry

and why is it so hard to be eager to myself

and why do i feel cellularly alone

am i supposed to live in this crazy city

you mean

i'm not

acorn

where does the money go that i send

to charities if we have so much why do some people have

nothing still i do

i feel frantic when i

first wake up in the morning

why do you say you are spiritual

yet you treat people like shit

how can you say you're close to god

and yet you talk behind

my back as though i'm not

a part of you

why do

you say you're fine" when it's