tinder samurai

i like to think i'm well-equipped as any other average guy

but i just can't discover love and i don't even set my standards high

on top of that

i'm camera shy

maybe i should opt-out of the dating pool

and be an undercover tinder samurai

cause i would rather type online than whisper in a dingy bar

and swiping left and right could be my new bushido ninja star

i'm well-versed in virtual lovemaking ninjutsu

on every profile pic i post

i'm posing with my shitzu

or flexing with my shirt off cause i heard that gets you hits too

especially okcupid

i'm like eros or the cherubs be

i pierce hearts of women with my cursor and my arrow keys

and disregard my roman roots and choose a font that's serif-free

trust me

i'm a tinder bio brainiac

the way i kindle fire with matches

i'm a pyromaniac

on christian mingle

i'm a casanova

if ya'll don't think so

y'all can ask jehovah

check your inbox

he might send an answer over

i wish i had the muscles of a granite sculpture

i would log on ashleymadison and bang adulterers

i'm so lonely

i've considered farmers-only

just for someone's arms to hold me

also

i'm really big on agriculture

but if i had that body of a grecian god

i would trawl on pof.com and use it as a fishing rod

and hope i don't get catfish

the fact is if i did

i'd probably play along cause god knows i could use the practice

and if i'm aching for my roots

i'd visit shaadi.com

message islamic wahhabi hijabi hotties salaam"