ukulele anthem
amanda palmer
sid vicious played a four-string fender bass guitar and couldn't sing
and everybody hated him except the ones who loved him
a ukulele has four strings
but sid did not play ukulele
he did smack and probably killed his girlfriend nancy spungen
if only sid had had a ukulele
maybe he could have been happy
maybe he would not have suffered such a sad end
he maybe would have not done all that heroin instead
he maybe would've sat around just singing nice songs to his girlfriend
so play your favorite cover song
especially if the words are wrong
'cause even if your grades are bad
it doesn't mean you're failing
do your homework with a fork
and eat your fruit loops in the dark
and bring your etch-a-sketch to work
ukulele small and forceful
you can play the ukulele too it is painfully simple
ukulele gleaming golden on the top of every steeple
lizzie borden took an axe
and gave her father thirty whacks
then gave her mother thirty-one
if only they had given her an instrument
had lost the plot completely
see what happens when you muzzle
and do not let them sing and scream
and nowadays it's worse 'cause kids have automatic handguns
it takes about an hour to teach someone to play the ukulele
about same to teach someone to build a standard pipe bomb
so play your favorite cover song
especially if the words are wrong
'cause even if your grades are bad
it doesn't mean you're failing
do your homework with a fork
and eat your fruit loops in the dark
and bring your flask of jack to work
and eminem and neutral milk hotel
the children crush the hatred
and if anybody tries to steal your ukulele
imagine there are no songs
imagine that john lennon wasn't shot in front of his apartment
imagine if john lennon had composed imagine" on the ukulele