vacation bible school

well

where i grew up in talapusa

when summertime came we all use'ta

go to a place called vacation bible school

we'd look up verses in the bible

make paper cut outs of the twelve disciples

and memorize the ten commandments and the golden rule

i remember once when my class made

a big ol' batch of lemonade

to be used by a student teacher at the sunday sermon

yeah we put in lemons

and sugar and water

and even though i knew i shouldn't ought'er

i put in some moonshine i got from my uncle herman

now that sunday dawned real hot and dusty

and to say the lease we were all real thirsty

and that seminary started hittin' that lemonade

and kept it well in reach

then to the best of my recollection

before the deacons were halfway through the collection

he stood up and drank from the pitcher and began to preach ho!

oh the things we used to do

in vacation bible schoo'

when i was just a barefoot boy in dixie

if my mama had only known

even a half of what went on

she'd cut a switch off of a hickory

she'd a whipped me

well he told that samson didn't take no sass

and whipped the philistines with the jaw bone of an ass

but to tell the truth

he got all that just a little mixed up

i can't tell you exactly what he said

but the minute he said it every face went red

but he just paused

and kinda staggered and then he hiccuped

he gave botanical names for mideast flora

told all about sodom and gomorrah

and though his speech was slurred

it was very graphic

he used words i'd never heard back then

and even now i only hear 'em when

i'm stuck in a new york cab

in five o clock traffic

well the sermon ended and he didn't rest

he went right into the gettysburg address

and then a stirring rendition of casey at the bat

he did impressions of garbo and gary cooper

and i tell ya friends

i thought it was super

'cause for props he grabbed the organ players wig and a deacon's hat

oh the things we used to do

in vacation bible schoo'

when i was just a barefoot boy in dixie

if my mama had only known

even a half of what went on

she'd cut a switch off of a hickory

she'd a whipped me

well we never had heard any preachin' like that

and we never invited that young man back

but to tell the truth

i thought it was a pitty

but i heard he went up preachin' that day

and he gave up cussin' and lemonade

and went to selling aluminum siding in yazoo city

oh the things we used to do

in vacation bible schoo'

when i was just a barefoot boy in dixie

if my mama had only known

even a half of what went on

she'd cut a switch off of a hickory

she'd a whipped me