well being

actor | observer

feel it creep under my skin

fingers start to twitch

the lonely pang of restlessness

when there's no one else around

do i even make a sound?

or am i just an echo

fading from their consciousness?

without the amniotic comfort

of being wrapped in someone else

my mind is left to wander

lowered further down the well

when meditation

becomes suffocation

where to go?

throw myself into you

and i'm ashamed to admit it

but it's how i've come to be

my past keeps biting at my feet

i've refrained to ever bare it

it's not fair of me

to burden my own company

oh christ

it's so goddamn pathetic

how i only know myself

in the context of someone else

so tell everyone to exit

view me in a vacuum

self-pity on a feedback loop

when meditation

becomes suffocation

where to go?

throw myself further down the well

where nobody can hear me yell

no soul to console

just myself

until the echo begins to swell

and rings pell mell

no

i can't bare to look

into what i fear most

a face emerging

churning doubt

who will pull me out?