my boyfriend had meth in the glove compartment of our car and i got pulled over for something else and a cop found it
ooh! well
did you dump that good-for-nothing drug planting boyfriend!
no
we're still together. i love him
oh. well
did you at least tell the cops that it was his meth?
i mean
i could have turned him in
but my boyfriend and i have a son. i can't risk our child having both parents in jail
that's true. that's a good point
story
story
let's hear another story
story
story
that one was just sad
what does your story say
about the patriarch-ay?
we all have got stories 'cause we did bad
ra ta ta
ra ta ta
ra ta ta
okay! i stole a sweater from the mall
ooh! had you been stealing all your life?! was this the culmination of a life of kleptomania? or were you doing it to stick it to the problematic fashion industry?
no
the heat went out in my apartment and i couldn't afford a sweater
so i stole one
oh my god
i stole a sweater too! i got two months
how long are you in for?
three years
i'm so sorry
story
story
these are barely stories
they're just bleak anecdotes with no start or end
go tell your story
sure
i have a story. i'm in here for murder
ooh! murder! juicy! ra ta ta
while i was driving
my daughter texted me that she was in the hospital and i got so distracted that i hit a teenager who was crossing the street and he died
story
story
oh my god with that story
story
story
take away her chair
i'm so sorry
i'm so sorry
okay
you know what
i'm just gonna share my story
because you guys aren't really versed with a sense of story structure
so i'm gonna show you how it's done
i was a no-good
manipulative love addict with undiagnosed borderline personality disorder. i swindled! drum! i cheated! drum! i put out a hit on my ex-boyfriend's girlfriend! drum drum! then
one day
this guy trent came into my life. he was ironically just like me. and he tried to kill the man i love
so i pushed him off a building! and then
when i plead guilty just for like
metaphorical symbolism
the judge knew i was innocent so she didn't accept my plea but i wanted to go to jail anyway
wait
what?
you don't have to be here?
you chose to be here?
yeah
ra ta ta
ra ta ta
ra ta ta
Full Lyrics: what's your story? - crazy ex-girlfriend cast