dental hygiene dilemma

Singer: zappa, frank

han min noon toon han toon han

no

jeff!

han toon ran toon ran toon fran min han toon ran toon nan toon fram

no no no!

man! this stuff is great! it's just as if donovan himself had appeared on my very own tv with words of peace

love

and eternal cosmic wisdom.! leading me. guiding me. on paths of everlasting pseudo-karmic negligence

in the very midst of my drug-induced nocturnal emission. oh

i am your good conscience

jeff. i know all. i see all. i am a cosmic love pulse matrix

become a technicolor interpositive!

okay. where'd you buy that incense? it's hip. it's the same and mysterious exotic oriental fragrance as what the beatles get off on. i thought i recognized it. sniff

sniff. mmm

what is that

musk? sniff

sniff

sniff. mmmh!

jeff

i know what's good for you. right. you're heavy. yes

jeff

i am your guiding light. listen to me. don't rip off the towels

jeff!

piss off

you little nitwit!

hey man

what's the deal?

don't listen to him

jeff

he's no good. he'll make you do bad things!

you mean

he'll make me sin?

yes

jeff. sin!

wow!

jeff

i'd like to have a word with you. about your soul. no

don't listen

jeff. why are you wasting your life

night after night playing this comedy music?

you're right

i'm too heavy to be in this group. comedy music. jeff

your soul!

oh. he's

too heavy to

be. in this group

all i ever get to do is play zappa's comedy music. he eats!

jeff!

i get so tense!

of course you do

my boy. the stuff he makes me do is always off the wall!

that's why it would be best to leave his stern employ. and quit the group!

you'll make it big!

that's right. of course!

and then i won't be small!

ha ha ha ha ha!

ha ha ha!

ti-diddly-diddly-dee

ha

ha

ha. he-he-he-he-heh!

cough

cough. ahmet ertegun used this towel as a bathmat six weeks ago at a rancid motel in orlando

florida

with the highest mildew rating of any commercial lodging facility within the territorial limits of the united states

naturally excluding tropical possessions. it's still damp. what an aroma! this is the best i ever got off! what can i say about this elixir? try it on steaks! cleans nylons! small craft warnings! it's made for the home! the office! on fruits!

this is the real you

jeff. rip off a few more ashtrays. get rid of some of that inner tension. quit the comedy group! get your own group together. heavy! like grand funk! or black sabbath. no

jeff. like coven!

peace. love. bollocks!

what can i say about this elixir?

jeff has gone out there on that stuff!

he should have never have used the elixir and only stuck to the incense. oh

atlantis. that was billy the mountain

dressed up like donovan

fading out on the wall-mounted tv screen. jeff is flipping out. road fatigue! we've got to get him back to normal before zappa finds out

and steals it

and makes him do it in the movie!

you have a brilliant career ahead of you

my boy

just get out of this group!

howard

that was studebacher hoch

dressed up like jim pons

giving career guidance to the bass player of a rock-oriented comedy group. jeff's imagination has gone beyond the fringe of audience comprehension. jeff

jeff

it's me

the phlorescent leech!

jeff

jeff

it's me

eddie!

wowwww!

what can i say about this elixir!

] put it on your steaks

uh

send it overseas

ground

and put it on you surfboard so you won't slip off. try it on your

and on the

the red balloons

you can blow up all balloons with it. put it on your. heh. on. on your pizza. put it on your shoes

tie your mic with it

and fill up your tires with it. ] use it to clean your swimming pool

sell it to your mother and tell her it's a rit tie-dye kit

you won't even believe what'll happen when you starch your shirt with it

ironing goes easier and your car windows never looked better in your whole life. ladies and gentlemen

you can inhale it

and it makes your voice three keys higher

and you can't even stand what happens when you put it on your hair

as hair tonic. heh

heh. and if you ever tried it as a. ] soak your shirts in it

soak your teeth in it. let it play the piano. follow it around the block. wear it instead of jeans. bathe your puppies with it. feed it to your ducks. use it instead of chlorine in your swimming pool. breathe it. love it. what?

wowwwwww!

what can i?

wowwwwww!

what?

what can i say about this?

wowwwwww!.

Lyric Context: dental hygiene dilemma - zappa, frank