Contextual Analysis of "hate myself" in Lyrics

i love another

i love another

i love myself to hate

'cause when i love

you took my heart then you took my pride away

i can't break free from the things that you do

i miss him

yes

and i wish i could help

pray to god with my arms open

anymore

i'm seeing it all so clear

but if you knew me like i know myself

'cause i'm a jackass

but i'm still sinking lower

i hate myself for always acting like it's not my fault

to fill my veins with these drugs. i

for who i am

i think you think i like it when you make me hurt

and i can never bring myself to talk you down

oh yes you

i hate myself for staying

it's hard to feel like i've done well sometimes

if all else fails me

start

that i'm not happy without you

i hate these tears in my eyes

i've had enough

start

and raise a little hell tonight

is this what i ask for?

i swear i'm sorry